Lessons from the Jungle: Lean into Discomfort

On the yoga retreat last week, we were faced with several uncomfortable situations. For starters, we stretched beyond our comfort zones by going into a remote jungle for a week with no internet or power or flushing toilets. On top of that, it rained most of the week, which made it even more uncomfortable – it is not every day that you constantly feel soaked to the bone and can’t seem to get dry. To add even more to the potential discomfort, we found ourselves in vulnerable situations with people that, just a few days ago, were complete strangers. 

~The River Crossing~

What I have been learning over the years and saw reflected in the yoga retreat is that it is usually the uncomfortable situations that create the biggest opportunities for growth and connection.  

Growth is uncomfortable. To grow, we have to stretch ourselves, go beyond our comfort zones in order to reach new heights and new depths. Sometimes we just have to accept and jump headfirst into discomfort in order to learn, grow, and develop lasting connections.

In our society, which is accustomed to instant gratification, we can often fall into a pattern of quickly dismissing uncomfortable situations. We try to get out of discomfort as quickly as possible with our fists clenched and our eyes jammed shut. We want to run from discomfort. 

Here are some examples of patterns I have noticed and even been in myself:

• In yoga, if we are in an uncomfortable position, we try to get out of it as soon as possible. And if we can’t get out of it, we fight the opening mentally, not allowing ourselves to soften into it.
• When we have an itch we scratch it.  If we get a message we check it. Even if it disrupts the moment we are in, we can’t stand not checking.
• We let go of hobbies or interests the minute we think we may not be that good at it.
• We rely on medicines that work immediately to ease minor pain even if it doesn’t heal the underlying issue. We don’t take the time to figure out why the pain was happening in the first place.
• We run from situations that might cause pain and heartache. We run from intimacy when it gets uncomfortable or requires work and compromise.
• We don’t speak up for fear of getting hurt or rejected. We don’t tell the truth to someone we love because we don’t want to hurt them.

It is important at times in our life to lean into discomfort, to really sit with it, and to listen to our mind and heart. Doing this, we can learn so much about our reactions and tendencies. Once we have settled around the discomfort and gotten out of the reactionary phase, we can make decisions based on presence and understanding rather than fear and the desire to run away. 

This is not to say that we should stay in a dangerous situation or put ourselves in harms way. But perhaps we can take small steps to become less afraid of discomfort and more curious. In uncomfortable situations, perhaps we can ask ourselves:  

• What can I learn from the discomfort if I leaned into it, if I tried to soften around it? 
• What is underlying reason for discomfort and why do I want to run away from it? 
• Deep down, how do I want to react instead of just letting fear take over?

In asking these questions we can uncover the life lessons that are so easy to pass by yet so powerful when we take the time to discover them.

Up next this week: more lessons from the Jungle!

Lessons from the Jungle: Plan and then Flow

I just got back from a week in the jungle.  I co-led the Buena Onda Yoga Retreat at Mama Roja, a sustainable, ecological farm and retreat center in the jungles of Misiones, Argentina. It was a wild and magical experience.

It is spring here in Argentina and that usually means sunshine, nice weather, and butterfly season in the jungle. We all went into the week expecting just that. What we got, however, was the complete opposite.

The day everyone arrived for the retreat, it was down pouring. Not little, soft, sprinkling rain but giant, noisy, thunderous rain; the kind of rain that reminds you of the incredible power of nature. Living in a city, away from the elements, I forget sometimes how powerful nature can be. 

So, anyways, this rain was crazy. In three hours, trickling brooks (which were easily crossed in a truck) turned into raging rivers – two of which intersected the only dirt road into Mama Roja. The first one devoured our truck, so we continued on foot. The second, with rapidly flowing water reaching up to our hips, we had to cross skillfully, with the aid of a rope that we managed to tie up at either bank. Welcome to the jungle. And it continued to rain for almost four days, with only two short intermissions for the sun and the butterflies to come out.

The lovely yoga shala at Mama Roja

Over this week, I will share with you the reflections and lessons that I took away with me.  Here is the first:

Plan and then go with the flow. Planning is important but there is only so much you can plan ahead for. Then, there comes a point when you have to let go of your plans and respond to what is happening around you in the moment. Plans can only take us so far, then we must rely on our intuition.

On the first day, we planned to hold an opening discussion in the yoga pavilion so we could set the tone for the week and get to know each other. All of the gathering places in Mama Roja are open to the elements. And it was of course raining. We got started and then we were promptly interrupted by thunder. It was the kind of thunder that drowns out all sounds around you. Every time we tried to talk, the thunder grew louder and made it impossible to go on. So, our plan for a discussion had to be thrown out the window. Instead, we opened up the time for everyone to stretch on their own. And this put into practice one of our intentions for the retreat: to give people the space to be introspective and establish a self-guided connection to yoga. So, we planned and then adjusted as needed based on what was happening around us. We still reached our goals just in an unexpected way.

We continued with this approach throughout the retreat week, adjusting as needed based on intuition and understanding of what was going on with the environment and within the group. It turned into an intricate weaving of themes and lessons across the entire week. As a group, we created powerful connections and understandings based on nature and our place within it.

This balance of planning and leaning into our intuition is an important lesson for not only planning a retreat or meeting but also for the life plans we have. All we can really control is our reaction to the world around us. It is important to have plans and to know what we want to manifest in the world. But if our plans are so strict and inflexible, we can become stuck and unable to respond from a place of presence and deeper understanding of what is going on within us and around us.

Stay tuned this week for more lessons from the Jungle!

Creating space for joy

The other weekend my husband and I got inspired to minimize our belongings, starting with our clothes. He is reading a book by Marie Kondo, called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” She has a very refreshing and appreciative take on minimizing your belongings and clutter. One of her main tenants, from what I gather, is to go through your items and only keep the ones that bring you joy. Sounds simple but I found that it is actually really hard to separate current enjoyment from past enjoyment.

We went through our clothes in sections – starting with just tops (t-shirts, workout tops, blouses, sweatshirts, sweaters, jackets, etc.). We went around the house collecting all of our shirts and putting them into one pile in the center of the room. Once I got over the surprise of how many freaking tops I have, we dove into the sorting. 

As I went through my clothes, it was actually pretty easy to pull out the items that excite me – they were mostly the items of clothing that I wear often or that I acquired recently. What was hard for me was letting go of the tops that brought me joy at some point in the past but no longer do. So for example, I may have been super excited about a shirt when I bought it or it represented a big phase in my life. But when I put it on and really looked at it, I realized that right now, in this moment when I am wearing it, there is no real feeling of joy or excitement. I was just holding onto joy from the past. 

The hardest part is letting go. But to soften the blow, Marie encourages you to let the item go while thanking it and appreciating all the happiness it once brought you. I realized that it is not as if I am renouncing or forgetting the past, I just don’t need this memento to remember it. And I am really not honoring my past (or the person that gifted me a jacket 10 years ago) by holding onto the item past its joy expiration date.

Another feeling that came up for me was scarcity. What if sometime in the future, I want a huge, warm jacket even if it makes me look like a crazy person? What if I really do need a pair of ridiculous, colorful leggings that I have never worn before in my life? But what I realized was that if I truly need it in the future and it is that big of a priority for me, I will set aside the money to buy it. And it opens up opportunity; opportunity for me to find new joy – such as the joy of finding the perfect jacket that keeps me warm and makes me feel fabulous. So, I am creating space for joy in the future rather than limiting myself to the joy of the past.

All in all, this was a pretty powerful practice in creating space that can have an impact on both a physical and emotional level. If we can let go of things that don’t serve us physically, maybe we can open ourselves up to the possibility of letting go of those things that no longer serve us emotionally. By looking at the aspects of our life that bring us deep, heart-warming joy, it starts to become apparent what is not bringing us that same joy. And maybe we don’t need to hold onto past fears or pains. Perhaps we can let go of certain habits, patterns, or even relationships that are no longer bringing us joy. Think of it as emotional house cleaning. 

Stay tuned for the next blog on how to create space for joy in your life.

Daily Mantras

The use of mantras can be a powerful and useful tool outside of our yoga and mediation practices. I have started to get into the habit of repeating mantras to myself throughout the course of a day or even a week. I use them when I need to conjure up some extra strength or when I am working on cultivating something in my life, such as patience or gratitude.

A mantra that I have been working with lately is: “I am capable of greatness.” It helps remind me that I do not need to play “small” or hide myself from the world. I can put myself out there and share my perspective. I have the ability to achieve great things.

It reminds me of a quote that I keep coming back to. HeatherAsh Amara states in her book, Warrior Goddess Training, “The world needs your brand of kindness and love, your power, your sacred ritual, your creativity, your quiet presence, your magnificent vision, your charming silliness.”

So, whenever you are working on cultivating a skill, changing a negative thought pattern, or just reminding yourself that you can take on a challenge in life, try this:

1. Pick a mantra. Think of a word or a phrase to remind you of what you are going for. Make sure that it is kind, positive, and that it resonates with you.
2. Practice your mantra. Repeat that mantra to yourself when you wake up. Repeat it to yourself as you brush your teeth and great ready in the morning. Keep coming back to it throughout the day. Heck, even write it on a sticky-note and put it on your desk or mirror or computer screen. Practice repeating the words so that when you are faced with a situation in which you really need to remember your mantra it is accessible in your brain.
3. Use your mantra at crucial times. When you find yourself in a difficult or uncomfortable situation, lean on the strength of your mantra. Take a moment. Take a breath. And repeat your mantra again. Really hear it. Trust that you are capable of implementing this mantra.

What mantras have you used that have helped you in a tough situation? What mantra do you want to try out this week?

Use the comment section below to share your insights.

Steps to Manifest

We are able to take steps to manifest our dreams and create a meaningful life for ourselves. Just remember that when we manifest something we become open to the possibility that what we want can, in fact, happen. Then, when the opportunity presents itself, we are ready and available to accept it.  We don’t always know what that opportunity will look like but if we are in a state of openness and trust, we will recognize it when it appears.

Next time you find yourself in a state of wanting – a desire for change or a new experience – try implementing these steps and see what you are able tomanifest:

1. Sit down, get quiet, and breathe. In a soft, non-grasping way, think about what you truly want to experience. Try letting go of the specifics. Concentrate on the overall picture and the reason for why you want something. It may take time to figure out what you truly want and to align that desire with what would be beneficial for your highest good (as opposed to superficial gain).
2. Do some research.  Look into the possibility of you achieving your dream. What steps would you have to take to realize it? Talk to people, ask questions, and stay open to the process of exploration. Let go of what exactly the end result will look like.
3. Take steps to realize your dream. After you figure out what it is that you are manifesting and you have done some exploration around it, if it still feels like the right thing for you, move forward. What is the first thing you will do to make your dream a reality?
4. Stay open and trust. Throughout the process of manifesting your dream, stay open to the end result – it may not be exactly what we planned or pictured. And trust; trust that life will provide for you and lead you in the right direction.  It is a balance between effort and trust.  If one path leads to a dead-end, find another path or change your strategy. Is there a different direction you can take and still meet the same basic need?

What have you been able to manifest in your life?