The other weekend my husband and I got inspired to minimize our belongings, starting with our clothes. He is reading a book by Marie Kondo, called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” She has a very refreshing and appreciative take on minimizing your belongings and clutter. One of her main tenants, from what I gather, is to go through your items and only keep the ones that bring you joy. Sounds simple but I found that it is actually really hard to separate current enjoyment from past enjoyment.
We went through our clothes in sections – starting with just tops (t-shirts, workout tops, blouses, sweatshirts, sweaters, jackets, etc.). We went around the house collecting all of our shirts and putting them into one pile in the center of the room. Once I got over the surprise of how many freaking tops I have, we dove into the sorting.
As I went through my clothes, it was actually pretty easy to pull out the items that excite me – they were mostly the items of clothing that I wear often or that I acquired recently. What was hard for me was letting go of the tops that brought me joy at some point in the past but no longer do. So for example, I may have been super excited about a shirt when I bought it or it represented a big phase in my life. But when I put it on and really looked at it, I realized that right now, in this moment when I am wearing it, there is no real feeling of joy or excitement. I was just holding onto joy from the past.
The hardest part is letting go. But to soften the blow, Marie encourages you to let the item go while thanking it and appreciating all the happiness it once brought you. I realized that it is not as if I am renouncing or forgetting the past, I just don’t need this memento to remember it. And I am really not honoring my past (or the person that gifted me a jacket 10 years ago) by holding onto the item past its joy expiration date.
Another feeling that came up for me was scarcity. What if sometime in the future, I want a huge, warm jacket even if it makes me look like a crazy person? What if I really do need a pair of ridiculous, colorful leggings that I have never worn before in my life? But what I realized was that if I truly need it in the future and it is that big of a priority for me, I will set aside the money to buy it. And it opens up opportunity; opportunity for me to find new joy – such as the joy of finding the perfect jacket that keeps me warm and makes me feel fabulous. So, I am creating space for joy in the future rather than limiting myself to the joy of the past.
All in all, this was a pretty powerful practice in creating space that can have an impact on both a physical and emotional level. If we can let go of things that don’t serve us physically, maybe we can open ourselves up to the possibility of letting go of those things that no longer serve us emotionally. By looking at the aspects of our life that bring us deep, heart-warming joy, it starts to become apparent what is not bringing us that same joy. And maybe we don’t need to hold onto past fears or pains. Perhaps we can let go of certain habits, patterns, or even relationships that are no longer bringing us joy. Think of it as emotional house cleaning.
Stay tuned for the next blog on how to create space for joy in your life.