Life is hard. As we grow up so much is happening and changing. We have to deal with changes in our bodies and hormones, learning and growing intellectually, building friendships and navigating relationships, coexisting with others their lifestyles, and so on.
Somewhere in that mix, we deal with emotions and fears and past pain. And we don’t always clearly understand where they are coming from or why. To be honest, not many people are ever taught how to process emotions effectively. We learn about our bodies and our brains at school but rarely do we learn about how to process emotions beyond the silly, somewhat meaningless emoticons of happy and sad faces. It is like we just have to figure it out on our own and keep pushing forward. And depending on our personalities, how we were raised, and other factors, the default – especially at a young age – is to either stuff it down or let it flow out uncontrollably.
So, basically, in order to keep moving, we have to leave some emotions and experiences untouched or buried deep just to be able to survive – especially the really hard ones to deal with. But when we do this, we are creating makeshift, temporary roots that, if left for too long, will give out on us and things will come caving in. But true emotional processing and transformation comes when we can find those faulty roots, dig them up, and then fill them with healthy strong roots founded in self-awareness and self-love.
It takes time, effort, and support to learn how to process emotions and difficult experiences, especially the old ones. But this is what can make life so meaningful: constant growth and personal transformation.
I would like to share with you some ideas on how to work on personal transformation based on my own experience and explorations. This is not an exhaustive list by any means, nor am I telling you to do this. I just want to get the ideas flowing.
- Yoga. I have personally found that yoga helps me connect to my body rather than disconnect from it. As I was growing up and witnessing changes in my body, I had the tendency to disconnect because I didn’t understand what was happening or why I felt uncomfortable. As I discovered yoga, I started to understand my body more and the changes its goes through constantly. That understanding opened up new doors and new realizations of how the past patterns and past emotional pain that I was storing up were reflected in my physical form. The body has great wisdom in it, which we can access if we allow ourselves to connect and open up to it.
- Meditation. Meditation has created big shifts for me in my personal growth and understanding. I find that when I have a regular meditation practice, I am able to process emotions, habits, patterns and difficult experiences with much more ease and grace.
- Journaling. Having a daily practice of journaling has had a big impact in my life. I started doing morning pages after reading the book “The Artist’s Way.” Morning pages are free hand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. I find that they help me understand what I am going through, how I am thinking about things, and what is front-and-center on my mind every day. When I get these out, I am able to go through my day without the weight of my thoughts, because they are out of my brain, on the page, and in the world. There is something very affirming and comforting about that.
- Professional counseling. Having someone to listen and help you process your emotions can be a huge help. When I worked with a psychologist in the past, I started to understand how to communicate what I was feeling to someone else and the importance of being able to doing this. I felt safe and supported in opening up to my emotions and experiences.
- Reading. Reading can be very therapeutic. Books and novels can give us different ways of looking at universal issues and topics. They can also provide new perspectives on common experiences.
- Energetic or healing work, such as massage, Reiki, acupuncture, etc. I have found that these types of services help me relax and tune into myself at a deeper level. I can’t always consciously pinpoint why or how I feel so good afterwards – I usually say that I feel so relaxed but it is more than that. I feel more centered some how, more connected. And subconsciously, I understand how powerful they can be.
- Community service or volunteer work. Working in service for others and the community changes me and completely shifts my perspective on life. It broadens my outlook and helps me see so much good in the world. It also helps me understand the “bigger picture” rather then getting caught up in my own troubles and mindset.
Again, these are just a few ideas that might be helpful to experiment with. But the most important thing is to understand what works for you, to figure out what helps you process out the old and fill your life with healthy awareness, perspective, and love. I hope this sparks some inspiration for you to explore and continue on your journey of self-transformation. Happy travels, love. <3